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Joke of the Day

"Who was the dankest dictator of all time? LMao Zedong"

"I was going to be a politician for Halloween Then I realized I couldn't fit my head up my ass"

"What do you call a female comedian? not funny"

"Children change a lot of things like now if I get lost in a corn maze I just lay down and take a nap or run toward the guy with a chainsaw."

"""Today I'm just going to wear pajamas all day."" - Hugh Hefner ever morning of his life."

"I told my friend that she had one of the nastiest bodies I've ever seen I hope she doesn't hold it against me."

"What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered."

"[first day as a coroner] me: he died at 11:42AM detective: are you positive me: it's hard with all this death but i'm hanging in there"

"If you tell me to make myself at home, don't be surprised when I take my pants off and drink all your vodka."

"Jesus loves me, but I told him that I could never date a pool boy."