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Joke of the Day

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"

"Guess what? Elephant Butt"

"This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob"

"""Weather on the 1s, Traffic on the 3s, We Hate You on the 2s, 4s, 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s, 9s, 10s, 11s, and 12s."""

"What's a stoner's favorite cheese? Mun Cheese!"

"What do you call a prositute on her period? Unemployed."

"My class has a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory All the other kids are excited, but I am just praying that there's no pop quiz."

"When do Astronauts eat? Launch Time"

"My friend compared me to a singular cloud in an otherwise blue summer sky No one wants me around. Which admittedly is pretty great...I had no idea he thought so highly of me."

"Why did the nun get a free hot dog at the fair? Because she spontaneously performed fellatio on the hot dog salesman. This made him feel charitable."