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Joke of the Day

"The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have no switched to mint Oreos."

"I went to the library and asked if they had any books on Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog. The librarian said that they may or may not have it, but that it rings a bell."

"Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team? She ran away from the ball."

"Whats the difference between a sly pig and a yeast infection? One's a cunning runt....."

"What is a dog's favorite candy? Feces pieces"

"What do a Feminist and a Broken ATM have in Common? They both can't make any change"

"Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? The Rooster"

"Pretty sure most of the people in coffee shops on lap tops are just writing letters to their parents asking if they can move back home."

"Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet? The orbituaries."

"Being an asshole lowers people's expectations of you. (Except on Twitter, where assholes must continue to prove they are assholes)"