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Joke of the Day

"My wife went ape-shit when she caught me doing shots with her sister. She knew we were doing them, she just never realized they were cum shots."

"What do you get when you dry out a Stark? Raisin Bran"

"A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend' that is ALWAYS in need is getting on my nerves."

"I would never get a minivan because I can't even think of 7 people I'd want to be stuck in a vehicle with."

"Why won't Hillary ever pull out? She's never finished screwing people."

"How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox? Tell them it floats!"

"[date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um"

"What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !"

"How do you make a rabbit stew? Keep it waiting."

"The Legend of Zelda Joke Do you know why Ganon can't use the internet? There's too many Links."