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Joke of the Day

"I don't really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense. Like a Bear at mile 3."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call someone who specializes in trains? A trained professional"
"my doctor said for every upvote this gets, i will lose one rib I only need 24 and then I can finally give myself head Edit: chill guys extra upvotes are gonna start taking my organs"
"What's the name of the jewish spider? Spidermann"
"An autistic and a vegan walk into a bar You only know because they mention it every other sentence"
"What drink can wrongly convict a black man? Tequila Mockingbird"
"Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding. One said ""What are we going to do?"" The other replied ""Quick turn the car into a side street."""
"Best Jocks https://www.reddit.com/r/Reddit50/comments/3p9d9z/girl_you_remind_me_of_an_alarm_clock/"
"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
"TIFU: I ate my boss' sandwich out of the work fridge! Oops. Wrong sub."