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Joke of the Day

"Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding. One said ""What are we going to do?"" The other replied ""Quick turn the car into a side street."""

"I wanna rock with you, but not all night. That's unrealistic."

"Walking condoms Two condoms are walking down the street. As they pass a gay bar one turns to the other and says.... you wanna go inside and get shit faced?"

"Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear? Because Chernobyl fall off."

"A man tried to sell me a coffin today I told him that was the last thing I needed."

"Why are all female moths lesbians? They aren't attracted to moth balls."

"I went for a run and got back two minutes later because I forgot something, I forgot I'm fat and can't run for more than two minutes."

"Never end a tweet with a question mark. People will talk to you."

"What does a parliamentarian say when they're done masturbating? ""Beating adjourned."""

"Ten Dollar Hooker A man goes to see a ten dollar hooker, then he gets crabs. He goes back to her to complain and she tells him ""What the hell did you expect for ten dollars? Lobster?"""