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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a theatre-snack muncher and a person who watches police sex scenes? One likes popcorn, the other likes cop-porn."

"The British are coming! Get ready! Oh wait they're coming by boat. We have like three months"

"I have two short jokes and one long joke. . . Joke Joke Joooooooooooooooooooke. (I apologize to everyone. That one offended even me.)"

"Why are farmers so afraid of aliens? Tractor beams."

"Where do pencils come from ? Pennsylvania"

"So Ron Jeremy... ...makes his money with his penis. I've also heard that his penis is so long, he can suck it himself. Which means that Ron Jeremy can literally put his money where his mouth is."

"What do a walrus and a Tupperware container have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"A Greek, a Spaniard and a Portuguese all walk into a bar. Who pays? Germany."

"My son feels about broccoli the way I feel about having to make a phone call."

"I failed my AP Biology test... They asked; ""what is something commonly found in cells?"" Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer"