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Joke of the Day

"Where do pencils come from ? Pennsylvania"

"There's only one similarity between Donald Trump and Feminists. Redditors hate them both."

"I drank too much over the holidays. I was at the doctor's yesterday and gave a urine sample. It had an olive in it."

"So drunk that if Dracula bit my neck right now, he'd get a Bloody Mary."

"TIL that the famous teacher Anne Sullivan once accidentally taught the wrong class after the legitimate teacher couldn't make it and the alternate teacher was late. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here."

"Where do vampires learn to suck blood? Law School."

"What do you call a girl ant who claims she can see the future .... .... clairvoyant"

"Almost that time of year, again. Deer gun season, or as the deer call it, the annual holocaust."

"I call bullshit on vampires that look all sexy and shit when they can't even see their reflection"