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Joke of the Day

"So Ron Jeremy... ...makes his money with his penis. I've also heard that his penis is so long, he can suck it himself. Which means that Ron Jeremy can literally put his money where his mouth is."

"When life gives you melons... ...you may be dyslexic."

"Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed? Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me."

"I walked past a drug rehab facility today. There was a sign on the front lawn that read ""KEEP OFF THE GRASS!"""

"I'm studying Feminism at my university It basically covers different periods in history."

"The word ""Caesar"" has always bothered me. It looks like a and e are mad at each other."

"Why are your kids like drugs? Because the law says you shouldn't do them, but it feels *sooooo* good - until you wake up the next day and just want to flat-out kill yourself."

"You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons. How ionic."

"""Food expiration dates are lies. It's all about control."" My knife breaks as I cut into a plate of milk. ""I'm saving this for later."""

"It's hard dating with OCD... ...every time my girlfriend gets turned on, I have to turn her off again."