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Joke of the Day

"Tell the punchline first. How do you ruin a good joke?"

"[Dumbledore gets hit with Avada Kedavra] HOUSE MD: I think he had lupus."

"Apparently, women in muslim countries can't drive. They can't do it here either."

"If you win three games of Twister in a row you're automatically a yoga instructor."

"A got a beer for my wife... and it was the best trade I've made in a while"

"If you asked Jesus on the cross what he wanted the holiday marking his death to be called, ""Good Friday"" would not have leaped to his mind."

"What do you call a zoo that only has dogs? A Shih Tzu"

"Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms..."

"I joke a lot, but in reality nothing can stop me from reaching my goals, except for shiny distractions or moderate discomfort."

"Islam is a religion of piece....There is a piece there, and another piece n the ground there Not an original joke just found it."