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Joke of the Day

"My teacher called me a procrastinator today. But I'd say I'm more of an amateurcrastinator considering none of my endorsement checks have come in yet."

"The 2014 world limbo champion walks into a bar... and loses his title."

"Have a bad only child? Apple unveils terrifying robot sibling... iSis."

"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."

"The Revenant was... Grizzly."

"If you ever travel to Italy, you have to try their famous food called ""Pasta,"" which I believe is Italian for ""Pizza."""

"How much for the vacation home? Sir, this is a coffin."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity I just can't put it down!"

"""Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor""- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign"

"When is it acceptable to not tip your server? when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites."