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Joke of the Day
"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."
Next Joke
"My 3-year-old was counting on her fingers in the other room. She finished at 9. I am concerned on so many levels right now."
"I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up."
"today my internet went out for About 3 minutes...... Met my family downstairs. They seem like nice people."
"What is Donald Trump's favorite Christmas song? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"
"*cop frisking me* Cop: ""theres nothin in your pockets that will poke me, right?"" Uh, no Cop: ""OW!"" *baby porcupine jumps out* RUN POKEY, RUN"
"After my friend passed away I got his sibling a parrot to soften the blow. I also taught it to say, ""Dave, it's your brother. Reincarnation is real!"""
"Why was the dolphin depressed? He felt he had no porpoise in life"
"My neighbor poked my eyeball out so I asked for an iPhone 7 as a compensation An i for an eye as they say"
"Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree."