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Joke of the Day
"What kind of bees make milk? Milk-makin' bees."
Next Joke
"Girl: My dog bit my boyfriend. Me: Your dog is a good judge of character."
"Everything I Say... Literally every single thing I say is an ironic exaggeration."
"My wife said she wanted to see ""Fifty Shades Of Grey"". So I showed her a picture of her hair."
"Two hikers are standing on a bridge over a stream, peeing over the side. First hiker: ""Wow, this water's cold."" Second hiker: ""And deep."""
"WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY... oh there it is."
"- grabs leash - grabs phone - takes dog out for walk - pulls out phone - checks Twitter - walks dog to South America"
"Not to brag but I have approximately 5000 compact discs I haven't listened to since 2003 that are preventing me from moving on with my life."
"Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to: 1) Divide 2) ROUND 3) RANDOM 4) On a Pentium all of the above A: Number 4."
"The guy in the next urinal peed so hard that a little got on me and I thought ""damn this dude is good at peeing"""