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Joke of the Day

"The guy in the next urinal peed so hard that a little got on me and I thought ""damn this dude is good at peeing"""

"Why do mathematicians love talking about Jesus? Because he's a cross product."

"I now know I drink too much. I walked out on my deck and swear I heard a mosquito yell out to his all his friends that the bar just opened."

"My boss is so nit picky that he's not even a micro manager... ...he's a quantum manager."

"What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster? A-pasta-ate."

"God wouldn't have made children so short if he didn't want you to fart in their faces."

"I'd tell you the joke about the paper But it's tearable."

"""Mrs. Doubtfire"" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking."

"Sarc... ...It is my second favorite asm. (And nobody fucking fainted)"

"I will be learning Hebrew in Jew course..."