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Joke of the Day

"Everything I Say... Literally every single thing I say is an ironic exaggeration."

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"How can a cat walk with no feet? He can't, it's impawsible."
"I just opened a Capri Sun in the dark, sup ladies"
"What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!"
"Whats the difference between a retard and a woman? The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special."
"My 61-year-old stepmom loves your product, Mark Zuckerberg."
"*walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*"
"Make little things count!... Teach midgets math!"
"People Against Queuing, now thats a cause I can get behind!"
"How much did the critic tip the waitor? two cents"