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Joke of the Day

"People belittle the internet ""talking about a dress"" as if we're busy solving problems otherwise."

"Wife: Could you be dehydrated? Me: Of course not. W: How much water have you had? Me: Two coffees & a bourbon. W: Wow. Me: Told you."

"I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was.. Apparently Bruce Jenner was ""inappropriate."""

"How do you make seven even? Take the s off."

"What's the easiest way to kill a bison calf. Put it in the back of your SUV."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa, Not screaming and on fire like his passengers"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 RAPED 9!!"

"If I bought a balloon for $0.99 ... How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?"

"Mad Cow Disease So two cows are talking in a field, The first cow says ""hey man, you worried about this mad cow disease that is going around?"" The second cow says ""Naw bro, I'm a helicopter."""

"Girl 1: ""Can I invite a few friends to your Halloween party?"" Girl 2: ""Sure. The more the scarier!"""