128721

Joke of the Day

"How do you make seven even? Take the s off."

"Can't wait till bin Laden slips up and checks-in on Foursquare."

"Just decked the halls. Let that be a warning to halls everywhere."

"I was told to drink a lot of Perrier My fizzy eau therapist insists on it."

"How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb? One. He just puts it in the socket and lets the world turn around him."

"What's the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. (From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)"

"Why are pirates never scared of a storm? Because they love torrents."

"Has anyone had a glass of F5 lately? It's so refreshing."

"Real sentence from a press release in my inbox: ""Donald Trump lives, works, eats and employs people of all races and religions."""

"Every mile you jog adds 1 minute to your life, so when you're 85 you can spend an extra 5 months in a nursing home at $8,000 per month."