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Joke of the Day

"A late night booty call woke me from a deep sleep... that damn cricket better have got some!"

"I pulled a groin muscle getting out of bed this morning... over and over and over....."

"Why is the Jewish 'April fools day' celebrated in July? Jew lie"

"Cleavage: The best popcorn catcher."

"I think everyone agrees that the lowest form of earth on this planet are child pornographers. They are the scum of the earth and should be tried as adults."

"First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework."

"Me: *puts six steaks on the grill* Wife: Don't you think that's too much? It's just us and the kids. Me: Wait, you guys are eating, too?"

"Gillette researchers are really the best They got some cutting edge technology"

"How do you make an epileptic dance? Throw a flashbang into the room."

"So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, ""Is this a finished desk?"" and she says, ""No, it's Swedish."" (edited to make more better)"