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Joke of the Day

"An apple a day keeps the doctors away! With that logic a bullet a day should keep the retards away!"

"What does supervillain Black Man need to do to escape the crime scene? Turn off all the lights."

"If you watch an Apple store get robbed... are you an iWitness?"

"I was going to tell a dull pencil joke but it's pointless"

"Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage."

"WWII was just all the people w/ time machines who went back in time to kill hitler fighting the time travelers who wanted to protect hitler"

"There are 4 stages in life 1)You believe in Santa Claus 2)You don't believe in Santa Claus 3)You are Santa Claus 4)You look like Santa Claus"

"What should you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man."

"What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale? Humpme Dumpme!"

"Why does pooping get more intense while you're listening to music? Because it's logarythmic."