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Joke of the Day
"Why does pooping get more intense while you're listening to music? Because it's logarythmic."
Next Joke
"When I broke my back the doctor said I had to start sitting down to pee... Because I'm not allowed to lift anything over 25 pounds."
"Apparently the stock downturn has a lot to do with a big gas plant going offline. I guess the gas was argon."
"13yo: Mom, I need 3 current issues happening in the neighborhood. Me: How abo- 11yo: WEAK WIFI, BUFFERING, BAD DATA PLAN! ..shoot me now."
"What do you call a mexican drowning in mayonise Sin-co-dye-mayo"
"""Honey, I think I lost weight!"" ""Get on the scale, I bet you'll find it."""
"Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters."
"How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb? None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!"
"After a terrible storm, a farmer realizes he needs to revamp his fence. Sorry, repost."
"Kevin Bacon likes to play Six Degrees of Everybody Else."