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Joke of the Day
"Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage."
Next Joke
"USS Constitution aged Q: What was the USS Constitution's nickname after it started to rust? A: Old Iron Oxides This one just kind of popped into my head at work yesterday."
"My roommate says that I'm hard to live with... Where does the arrogant bastard get off saying things like that, He muttered it under his breath in the shower... Son of a bitch."
"Sir, your wife was stabbed ten times, but the missing piece is the murder weapon. So far we have nothing, Mr *checks notes* Scissorhands."
"Adventures Of Pedo-Sherlock How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes? -Elementary, my dear Watson."
"Nurse: ""It says here you're lacoste intolerant? Is that a typo?"" Me: ""No. I just really, really can't stand polos with crocodiles on them."""
"How do you save a suicidal procrastinator? Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow."
"What do you call somebody who is content being average sized? A happy medium."
"What do you call a US Marine with an IQ of 70? General"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brook ! Brook who ? Brook-lyn bridge !"