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Joke of the Day

"Early bird gets the worm 2nd mouse gets the cheese 3rd cow gets the grass All cows get to eat grass tho, theres not really a low supply."

"My wife just got breast implants made out of oak I don't think I could do that, I think it'd hurt, wooden tit?"

"I just saw the Assassins Creed Movie Trailer... I did not expect The Spanish Inquisition."

"What's the only animal that has a cunt on its back? A police horse."

"Good things about drinking on the plane: 1. You don't have to drive. 2. No matter how much you drink, they can't throw you out."

"What do you call a blonde that dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence."

"My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook."

"fifty shades of grey It's the REAL verson of fifty shades https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU0yHAtqe4k"

"The most popular guy in a fraternity will end up working at a mobile phone kiosk in a mall."

"I consider myself somewhat of a pussy magnet... ...I just need to learn how to change the polarity."