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Joke of the Day

"I consider myself somewhat of a pussy magnet... ...I just need to learn how to change the polarity."

"Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs. I've been to the museum. It's obvious they starved to death."

"How do you make your wife scream after sex? Wipe your dick on the curtain."

"Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS"

"Cocaine is never a solution... Unless it's dissolved in water."

"This is how the disaster happened. Poop : knock knock. Anal sphincter : who is this?? Poop : Fart. Anal sphincter : OK. Pass!"

"Best medieval joke you know. Go. ""In days of old where men were bold and rubbers weren't invented, men wore socks around their cocks and babies were prevented."""

"What happens to a legend's career when he loses his leg? It ends."

"I was constipated once... ...nowhere near as shitty as diharea tho..."

"I will show you a picture on my phone, but if you swipe right or left, I will break your finger."