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Joke of the Day

"LAPD announced they fired a dozen officers this today... In other news, 12 cabins were burned to the ground in Big Bear."

"I knew she'd come crawling to me.. I mean, I DID steal her wheelchair"

"A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Unless it's diabetes medicine."

"My lizards won't mate... Must be a reptile dysfunction."

"Why do married men hang strobe lights from their bedroom ceilings? To create the optical illusion that their wives are moving during sex."

"How to have sex How do you get a gay man to have sex with a female? You fill her cunt up with shit."

"I've been cutting corners my whole life... But now I am a well-rounded person, so it worked out pretty well."

"Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10? Because Windows 7 8 9!"

"What if we had an internet and nobody came?"

"A Mexican performs a magic trick. He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, ""Uno, dos..."" and then *poof* ... he disappeared without a tres!"