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Joke of the Day

"Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night."

"""Say, farmer....."" Traveling Salesman: ""Say, farmer, where does that road go to?"" Farmer: ""Well, I lived here all my life, it ain't gone nowhere yet."""

"I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance."

"Take time to relax especially when you don't have time for it."

"I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?"

"I got a job at the circus circumcising baby elephants. It pays peanuts, but the tips are huge."

"Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it? Because of the violins inherent in the cistern."

"I've kept my tamagotchi alive for the past 15 years, so yeah Mom, I know what it's like to raise an ""ungrateful little prick"""

"[OC] Got approved for a 15 year 3.25% Mortgage loan 4.20 was too high for a 30 year ....... sorry I'll see myself out."

"what's the main difference between r.kelly and your average redditor? there are some things r.kelly can't piss all over."