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Joke of the Day

"I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?"

"With apologies to books, tits are way better."

"Who is Samuel L Jackson's favorite historical figure? Oedipus"

"I found Alan Rickman in the grocery store yesterday... Jk"

"[Gaming] Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side"

"If Trump wins tonight... He'll be the first person to go from P.O.S. to P.O.T.U.S."

"Never hide regular cocaine in your butt Charges will get elevated to possession of crack cocaine"

"One zebra says to the other, ""I'm going to check out that patch of nice green grass over there . . . . . . I'll be white black."""

"Why are pistachios called pistachios? More like ""these-are-hard-to-openios"""

"nicest girl - You're the nicest girl and prettier than I have known - You what you want is fuck me - Wow and smarter."