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Joke of the Day

"What do u call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Apparently Pound Town is NOT a British dollar store"

"If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska."

"You can't boss me around until you're older than the whiskey I drink. -subtweet to my GF"

"A joke so absolutely filthy I can't put it in the title Rio Olympics"

"Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go."

"Why did the cat stop singing? Because it was out of tuna."

"Mysteries of #Gravity: Why Bullock's hair, in otherwise convincing zero-G scenes, did not float freely on her head."

"Why do breasts have nipples? Because without them they would be pointless."

"How does the Pope get around New York City? Mass Transit!"