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Joke of the Day

"Dad, what is a cross-dresser? Ask your mother, he knows."

"Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it"

"Why couldn't Christopher Reeve pay his landlord? Back rent."

"Ladies: We barely pay attention when you are speaking directly AT us. What makes you think we will pick up on a subtweet?"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."

"[hugging mom at sister's funeral] ""And you said I'd never be your favorite"""

"What's a martial artist's favorite beverage? Kara-Tea"

"Vegetarians and vegans are admirable ...... but cannibals are the real humanitarians."

"I need the ""Viewer Discretion Advised"" voice to narrate my life."

"I have someone I want you meet - how is she? - she full - ehh... - of love - great! - to food - ..."