83224

Joke of the Day

"You ever get so drunk you write your social security number in the tip slot on your bar tab?"

"A good pun... A good pun is its own reword."

"Racial jokes: Put em here, let's see what ya got! How do you starve a black man? You put his food-stamps in his work boots!"

"I got stung by a bee the other day..... 15 for a jar of honey!"

"What game do monsters play with humans? Squash."

"[Freddy Krueger enters my dream but I'm blasting Rebecca Black on repeat] Who's nightmare is it now Freddy?!"

"can you start monday at 8? ""yes, thank you for the opportunity"" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? ""am or pm?"""

"""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft."

"What do you get when you cross weed with weed? You get high."

"*emergency room* NURSE: ""we're losing him!"" DOCTOR [pouring like a lot of buckets of ice water on his head]: ""IM WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN"""