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Joke of the Day

"[Freddy Krueger enters my dream but I'm blasting Rebecca Black on repeat] Who's nightmare is it now Freddy?!"

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"CIA 'Mistakenly' destroys copy of 6,700-page US torture report A CIA spokesperson commented, ""We meant to destroy the 6,700-page US espionage report"""
"Who was the largest knight at the Round Table? Sir Cumference. Why was he so fat? He ate too much pie."
"""Doctors report a new super effective painkiller."" Its axed shaped for splitting headaches!"
"When choosing a bottle of wine, it's good to pick one with a picture of the animal you'd most like to get drunk with on the label."
"How did the medical community come up with the term ""PMS""? ""Mad Cow Disease"" was already taken."
"What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend? ""See ya next month!"""
"How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate its tit a lot."
"Why did EA cross the road? The punchline for this joke is 0.99$"
"Who would survive if Trump and Clinton both were stranded on a island? America"