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Joke of the Day

"can you start monday at 8? ""yes, thank you for the opportunity"" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? ""am or pm?"""

"Getting mad at commercials for having interracial families"

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."

"When I met you I was completely blown away because the wind was ridiculous."

"Fails drug test. Adds ""Positive"" Person to resume."

"Girlfriend just called me by my full given name.This is gonna end poorly."

"Arguing with a greased up Asian... Can be a slippery slope."

"If the rapper Logic had an evil twin... His name would be Psycho-Logic."

"Why did Windows skip 9? Because 7 ate 9."

"My Dad was the town drunk, ... and we lived in Chicago."