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Joke of the Day

"""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft."

"What's the difference between a van and a minivan? A van picks up kids. A minivan picks up your kids"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brighton ! Brighton who ? Brighton-der the light of the moon !"

"What's more awkward than getting a boner in public? Your girlfriend getting a boner in public."

"I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children."" I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex."

"I was going to tell an original joke about fences... but then I decided to repost"

"How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up? He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)"

"Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria."

"A libertarian vote walks out of a bar ... ... and goes, ""God, I'm wasted."""

"To all of the dyslexic population of Reddit: **UNTIE**"