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Joke of the Day

"I didn't really want to go to the seafood buffet... ...but I just went for the halibut"

"Q. What's the difference between 'weather' and 'climate'? A. You can 't 'weather' a tree but you can 'climate'!"

"What do you call nondeterministically scrambled Crunk? White and black noise."

"Barkeep. Send a drink over to little ms. thang over there. Tell her it's from me Sir, that's a Ms. Pac-Man machine *raises glass, winks*"

"You seem to like blonde jokes around here. Here is my favorite: Why did the blonde have such a terribly bruised belly button? Her boyfriend was blond as well."

"Did you hear? Tony Romo tried committing suicide after yesterday's game... But the bullet was intercepted."

"""Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning."" -me, speaking to this leftover pizza."

"What do you say when you're comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they're."

"PRANK TIME: tie your friend's shoelaces together and when he tries to walk throw a wolf at him"

"So my girlfriend came over and wanted breakfast So I offered her my personal salami and if she tried hard enough she could get some dipping sauce as well"