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Joke of the Day
"PRANK TIME: tie your friend's shoelaces together and when he tries to walk throw a wolf at him"
Next Joke
"First day at gym and i've already lost 5kg. seriously, i have no idea where i misplaced those weights.."
"When I have kids I'm going to tearfully serve them scrambled eggs smothered in ketchup & tell them it's Humpty Dumpty."
"So I was going by this farm the other day... and I was like, hay."
"<- sleeps well with others"
"Like a hooker at a truck stop, Twitter goes down every Friday."
"What's a joke? My life..."
"Its no longer the little birdy that told you something. now days its ""i seen it on facebook."""
"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor."
"What is long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine."