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Joke of the Day
"What do you say when you're comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they're."
Next Joke
"How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head."
"Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft."
"Just got 30 orange oval stickers printed that read NOW HAMSTER FREE I'm putting them on all the meatloaf packages in this supermarket"
"""1st day at school"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" . Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"
"what's for dinner? ME: indian we had indian last night ME: i know, but i forgot to do the 'i see a little sillhouetto of a naan' joke so"
"What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator? A caiman like a wrecking ball."
"What do you call a Gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass!"
"[phone w/ son while in bank thats being robbed] in case this goes bad, go to google on the iPad and delete ""can owls fly"" before mom sees it"
"told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco"