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Joke of the Day

"TIFU I'm like a 4/10 and she was a total 9."

"What is common between a gynecologist and Pizza Deliver guy? They both can smell it but cant eat it."

"iTunes has got it all wrong. The hottest single of the year is me."

"You know why people insisted on calling the Higgs Boson for ""the God particle""? Because since the Higgs Boson gives mass to tiny particles, they imagined that it had to be a tiny priest."

"Champagne says I'm classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks."

"My jokes should be written on lollipop sticks So you can only see them if you suck as much as they do"

"Funny prank: Put a cinder block in someone's pillowcase and right when they say ""What the fuck?!"" let like six wolves into their room."

"What do you get when you make a train engine happy? Locomotivation"

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes."