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Joke of the Day

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."

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"Lady next to me in 50 Shades pulled out her glasses & asked if she missed the good part. I said no, the credits weren't rolling yet."
"*Puts on apron* *Places Pop Tarts on plate* *Removes apron*"
"Did you hear the one about the man with a big procrastination problem? Eh, I'll tell you later."
"A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""What is this? Some kind of joke?"""
"A very interesting poem > I dig > You dig > He dig > She dig > They dig > We dig It might not be very long, but I think it is very deep."
"I finally figured out why so few people still have fucks to give ! The gangster rappers stole the whole supply for their songs"
"This girl on tinder was so ugly I swiped left, pay for the undo just so I can swipe left again."
"An email from my parents: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Obama's a Muslim"
"Where do you find a one legged cow? Where ever you left it."