160854

Joke of the Day

"Stormtroopers never miss. They're just trained to fire a 21 shot salute to celebrate the commencement of every firefight."

"People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides"

"I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted."

"What is Bill Cosby's favorite hotel chain? Red Roofie Inn. I'll show myself out."

"It's like my mother always told me, ""If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."" Then she said I looked fat."

"My girlfriend is like Windows... She's 10."

"When I was a kid I used to dream about swimming in an ocean of soda... ....but when I grew up I realised it was just a Fantasea"

"Where does a snowman keep his money? In the snowbank. I'll see myself out.."

"Life would be more fun if every time we sneezed we lifted off the ground a few feet and came back down in slow motion"

"If 50 Shades of Grey were in the NFL... ...it'd be on the Commissioner's Exempt list."