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Joke of the Day

"Never marry a drummer... they beat things for a living."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can fall asleep with a light on."

"Happy (Belated) Birthday To Everyone"

"What's The Best Part Of Getting/Receiving A Blowjob? Her shutting up for once."

"So my friend Greg recently changed his name to Gregory. I swear to god he's gonna re-Greg it."

"Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed? Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me."

"I don't need to be rich, it would just be nice to live in a neighborhood where I could be confident that that noise was definitely fireworks"

"It's pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear."

"I'm at my most insecure when asked if I want to save changes made to a document when I am sure I did not make any changes at all."

"How much penis? Soooo much penis."