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Joke of the Day

"She : It's not working between us. He : Why ? She : For starters I can't handle your silly jokes. He : Hmm okay and for main course ?"

"*stares into wormhole* Whoa man, cool. *gets slapped by worm* Pervert! *worm wiggles away*"

"A man with a wooden leg marries a woman with a wooden eye on their honeymoon she asks him if he wants to fool around. He replies, would I! she spits out peg leg"

"I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes"

"What do you think of Miles Davis? he kind of blew"

"Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I'm ""the one,"" but isn't talking to a police officer."

"*I describe my lost cat to the cops* Sketch Artist: *draws my cat* Detective Dog: *adds WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE beneath the picture*"

"How many Duggar does it take to screw in a light bulb? They screw children, not light bulbs."

"What does Monica and Hillary have in common? They don't fuck Bill anymore."

"So far, not a single girl I've asked is interested in a fling. I don't think they trust my human catapult."