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Joke of the Day

"TIL the tooth brush was invented in Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called the teeth brush."

"What does a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it."

"What's better than winning a silver medal at the Paralympics? Being able to walk."

"I like my women like my doughnuts... ...with a hole I can stick my dick into."

"If I ever fire someone who is a Taylor Swift fan I'll say ""I knew you were trouble when you clocked in."""

"What do you call a fish who works for the government? An Official."

"therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u"

"I ran out of toilet paper at Hartsfield/ATL. Then I remembered my mom had told me I could use pages from a book in a pinch. I gotta say...it's really hard to wipe with an e-book."

"My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors."

"a mushroom walks into a bar And the bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here"". The mushroom replies ""what I'm a fungi""."