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Joke of the Day

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? (x-post from /r/adviceanimals) Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill? Running . . . JK! Rolling"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"Her: You into S&M. Him: Sure. Her: Good. *ties him to bed post* Him: Oh yeah. Her: Ready...? Him: Torture me! Her: *plays Nickelback*"

"Maybe if you knew Garfield's parents were murdered on a monday by anti lasagna activists you wouldn't be so judgmental."

"Your mom's like a gong, everybody bangs her."

"If I said I was the king of the jungle, I'd be lion to you."

"Doctor Doctor you've taken out my tonsils my adenoids my gall bladder my varicose veins and my appendix but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you !"

"The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss"

"An old man went to the doctor The doctor says ""I'm afraid I have bad news. You have cancer... And you have alzheimer's."" The old man says ""Well, at least I don't have cancer!"""