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Joke of the Day

"What was Rob Bartlett's go-to line in his WackyPaki comedian routine? Take my wife, if you would be so kind."

"Why aren't there any black people in the Air Force? They're still afraid of hangars."

"GOD: [as a kid] DINOSAURS! GOD: [as a teenager] You will know the profound sadness of existence, humans."

"What happens when you combine TNT with a hard drive? It gets blown to ***bits!***"

"Last night I had a dream I was a muffler... And woke up exhausted"

"[ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?"

"What do you call a huge ugly slobbering furry monster with cotton wool in his ears? Anything you like ? he can't hear you."

"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."

"I never knew I was allergic to iron... Because after hitting the weights I get swollen."

"What do you call poppies from eastern Africa? Ethiopium"