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Joke of the Day

"Don't text and drive. Just pull over until you're done using your phone. That's what I do. I've been on the side of the road since 2011."

"What is a red haired persons favorite alcohol? Ginger Ale"

"I heard 2k14 is so real that when you give the ball to kobe, the pass button stops working"

"Why pink camo? Do people hunt barbie jeeps or try to sneak up on pepto bismol?"

"Cop: Save it for the JUDGE! Crook:Ok *crook wraps up last slice of pizza in foil* Lawyer: it's too bad the judge had to miss our pizza party"

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One WALKS on the MOON, and the other fucks little children."

"What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common? They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing."

"What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynaecologist have in common? Both of them can smell it but neither is allowed to eat it."

"I was gonna make a joke about Alzheimers.. ..but I forgot what it was."

"No matter where you live, there's always 1 light switch that doesn't do anything."