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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with no arms or legs playing in the leaves? Russell."

"On my way to Chicago. Anybody need anything? Hot dog? Deep dish pizza? Bull's Jersey? A lock of Oprah's hair?"

"What kind of robbery is not dangerous? A safe robbery."

"Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!"

"go to college so you can get a job to pay for college"

"In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people."

"Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan."

"Poor Luigi when his parents were all, ""This is Mario, we also call him 'Super Mario'. And this Luigi, we also call him 'Player 2'."

"What do you call it when an ex pees on you? EX-STREAM!"

"How can you tell if your wife left you? You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!"