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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan."

Next Joke
 
"My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :("
"In Soviet Russia... ...end of joke is when line punches *you*."
"What do 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape"
"has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life"
"I'm having trouble discerning my Twitter voice from my professional one. I just said ""What's up, slut?"" to our receptionist. Frigid bitch."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bart ! Bart who ? Bart-enders serve drinks !"
"[puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS"
"Did you hear about the author who wrote a book during her time of the month? It was a period piece."
"What do you call someone who's great at everything? A good-for-nothing."