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Joke of the Day

"Poor Luigi when his parents were all, ""This is Mario, we also call him 'Super Mario'. And this Luigi, we also call him 'Player 2'."

"What did the hammer say to the drill? You're too boring."

"Where on LinkedIn do I add my current gang memberships"

"If someone feeds you alphabet soup... Is that putting words in your mouth? Also, if they are about to feed you and pull back, is that taking the words out of your mouth?"

"What's going on under there? Nobody has to know but you. - Poncho salesman"

"Drunk Guy Guy: Dude I Wasn't That Drunk, Friend:Dude U Were WAtching TV And Laugh, Guy: Sooo -_-, Friend : The TV Wasn't On"

"Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve? The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation."

"*Pulls gun* Alright give me the money, and don't try anything stupid."" *Tries to put a fork in a light socket* ""Hey! What did I just say""!?"

"[twirling my bra above my head like a helicopter and it gets stuck on the ceiling fan, im launched thru window into neighbors yard] me: hey"

"Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials."