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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if your wife left you? You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!"

"The butcher's wife always messes up everyone's order. We call her Miss Steak."

"I'll tell you something about my wife She absolutely loves ~~cunilungas~~ ~~cunnilengus~~ ~~cunnelinges~~ cunnilingus Sorry, I always have trouble getting my tongue around it"

"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes."

"Why are the noses of Jewish people so big? Because air is free."

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he's a fungi."

"How does the pope refer to his secret superhero identity? It's his altar ego."

"TIFU by giving someone the wrong sandwich at a deli Whoops, wrong sub"

"My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he's actually a bag of Cheetos"

"A guy is at Chick-Fil-A When all of a sudden Tinker Bell shows up. He goes to a worker and says, ""Wow, you guys have fairies in here?"" The worker then says, ""No, our CEO doesn't like it."""