14303

Joke of the Day

"In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people."

"When I figured out that people walk on hardwood and carpet, I was floored."

"My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!"

"Why can't you lift weights on Monday? It's a week day."

"When I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar"

"How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He ate pizza before it was cool"

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Dave"" ""Dave who?"" Dave had to hold back tears as he realised his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse"

"Somewhere there's a sheep named LL Wool J. & that's what keeps me going you guys."

"Why does a tiger make such a good girlfriend? Because its not a cheetah."

"What are the five white things on a nigger? His teeth, his eyes, his nails, his palms and...his owner!"