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Joke of the Day

"What did the river say when it saw the beavers? I'll be dammed."

"Name That Tune My school had a ""Name that Tune"" activity for the staff, and they had sound trouble so there was silence. I shouted out ""John Cage!"" and no one laughed."

"What do you call an ISIS member who loves himself? A nISISist"

"My co-worker is so annoying... She's always showing me pictures of her daughter and always asking: ""Have you seen my baby?"" It's so annoying, come on, its been two years, they're never gonna find her."

"When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you give them the nut or the butt?"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine? You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you"

"Wired: ""Machine learning will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"" Amazon: ""We see you bought a wallet. Would you like to buy ANOTHER WALLET?"""

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I dont mind doing a 5km but I cant be fucked doing a 10km run"

"There once was a man from Peru Whose limerick was three lines too few."

"""Sir, do you have any dietary restrictions?"" *unbuttons pants* ""Not anymore!"""